X-Blades

Publisher: SouthPeak Games
Developer: Gaijin Entertainment / TopWare Interactive
Genre: Action
Release Date: February 10, 2009
Platforms: Playstation 3, Xbox 360, PC
ESRB: M - Mature

Reviewer: Eric

What’s better than whores fighting off evil to save the world? How about a whore that’s wearing a thong, wielding two blades like its no tomorrow? X-Blades delivers in a way that has not been seen since Devil May Cry and Tomb Raider. Wait a second, can a game really bring that much to the table with a character that’s wearing almost nothing?

X-Blades features a half naked heroine that loves to steal treasure. This sort of sounds like Tomb Raider, but in Lara Croft’s case she takes the treasure for something much greater (I think at least). There really isn’t a whole lot in the story when it comes to X-Blades.

It rips off of the Tomb Raider and completely fails. Why? It just stinks. Our leading lady sounds like a Valley Girl who seems to care more about looking for a good time. She doesn’t care about anything and steals a treasure that completely ruins everything. All I wish is after she stole that treasure that the whole game was in ruins.

The game has a hard time breaking out of its shell with the graphics. X-Blades combines both cell shading with Playstation 2 graphics. What a combination for a game that came out in 2009? Devil May Cry 2 looks as good as this game. The cell shading does hide the fact how bad the gameplay graphics are. Some of the cutscenes are pretty looking, though the round ass and tits will make you think that X-Blades is an awesome game.

How about the gameplay? In my opening paragraph I mentioned Devil May Cry and Tomb Raider. X-Blades combines these two games and craps out a sixty dollar game. You can’t even imagine how bad this game really is until you play it. X-Blades creators obviously didn’t play their own game during the development process.

Just like Devil May Cry you have to play through stages. Instead of having stages that matter X-Blades just throws the same thing at you a million times. There is nothing to these stages. Just defeat all the characters and move to the next stage. The game never really explains what to do to win either.

Some stages force you to use certain attacks to defeat enemies to move on. The tutorial explains how to attack and use magic. After you learn these attacks you are forced to earn enough points to buy new attacks and then use those attacks to beat certain stages to move on. If you can’t figure it out then you will fight countless enemies until you can earn those attacks.

Final Verdict
X-Blades proves that video games are not all about computerized tits and asses. Nothing this game has to offer is groundbreaking. Really sixty dollars for this crap? Yeah it is true and all you have to do is pass on this game. If you really have to play this game then you better wait for the price to drop and no half off is not even good enough.

Rating
4 out of 10

More reviews:
MetaCritic: 5.3/10
TestFreaks: 5.9/10
IGN: 6/10

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